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The Astrologer's Lament by ~Moon-and-Ash:iconMoon-and-Ash:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Open


I expect nothing from you November men -
men like vodka
who burn cleanly away
when put to a flame
and afford little warmth
even as bruised and gilded autumn
eases into winter's wasting embrace.

Truly, what could I ask of men
whose stars like frozen water
depict an armoured poison
known for perseverance and
- immovability -
behind which I might moor for a time
with wary arrow notched, though
rendered useless by guileful winds
and their laughing tales of elsewhere?
©2009 ~Moon-and-Ash
:iconmoon-and-ash:

Author's Comments

I'd never realized how many scorpio(s? -ns?) I was actually surrounded by (family AND friends). No wonder I'm misunderstood. ;)

Comments


love 1 1 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconleurindal:
*Leurindal Oct 13, 2009, 1:51:51 PM
ahhh, lovely! The play with the scorpion image in 'armoured poison' is exquisite. You also linked extremely well seasonality with the actual attributes that different dates of birth, in the mind of the astrologist, predict.

one small point: considering that the last stanza is one long beautiful question, why not end it with a question mark?

--
"Beauty is truth, truth beauty," - that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.

J. Keats
:iconthetaoofchaos:
*thetaoofchaos Oct 13, 2009, 2:01:35 PM
i felt the haunt in the laughter of the last line. somehow, a bitter cold prevails in those "guileful winds".

your dissatisfaction stings well.

:)

--
The world is an eraser for these words


- Jack Kerouac


we must destroy that which contains us
:iconmoon-and-ash:
~Moon-and-Ash Oct 13, 2009, 6:57:32 PM
Small point?! Hardly!!! Thank you, discerning reader, you're utterly right, and it matters *SO* much.

I'm so pleased you enjoyed this. Thanks again. :hug:
:iconmoon-and-ash:
~Moon-and-Ash Oct 13, 2009, 7:01:36 PM
Ha! Loved the pun - ('stings';) deliberate or not, definitely earned points. ;)

I'm also suspicious of the bitter cold; though sometimes, too, I wonder if it isn't just projection.

Thank you for your thoughts and words. :heart:
:iconadmiralvorkraft:
~admiralvorkraft Oct 13, 2009, 8:41:26 PM
Though a Scorpio myself I nonetheless appreciate the sentiment not to mention the (as always) exquisite mode of presentation.

--
Illusion is the first of all pleasures - Oscar Wilde
:iconraptor45:
Mood: Love ~Raptor45 Oct 13, 2009, 9:01:31 PM
"men like vodka
who burn cleanly away
when put to a flame
and afford little warmth"

Man, that's fucking brilliant.
I always find an incredibly effective meaning in all your writing, compared to the hundreds of other lacking poets.
Always great, always thoughtful. :)
:iconleurindal:
*Leurindal Oct 14, 2009, 3:00:02 AM
:D

you're welcome! :hug:

--
"Beauty is truth, truth beauty," - that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.

J. Keats
:iconmoon-and-ash:
~Moon-and-Ash Oct 28, 2009, 9:47:49 AM
Thank you for being able to see past my lamenting your vexing astrological nature (happy belated/early birthday, I should add) and offering such wonderful, thoughtful comments. I really appreciate it. :heart:
:iconmoon-and-ash:
~Moon-and-Ash Oct 28, 2009, 9:50:33 AM
As always I don't have enough space to fill with the "thank-yous" your comments make me want to unleash in this box.

I'll settle for one. Thank you, really, for the praise, and that you found something thoughtful/worth thinking on. :heart:
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